Interview with the Grim Reaper
Name: My name is Daemon
Grim
Age at death: I
have no idea. I only know I look about thirty-five years old.
Please tell us
a little about yourself.
I’m the Reaper. And yes, before you
ask, I’m that Reaper, Satan’s bounty
hunter. As the title implies, I hunt down and silence anyone who is – or is
likely to become – a threat to infernal security, or an embarrassment to
Satan’s infernal or demonestic policies.
How do you think you ended up in Hell? What sins have you committed?
Who I was before I came to Hell, or
what I did, I haven’t got a clue. There’s a hole in my mind that prevents the
retention of any memories from the time before.
My first recollections of unlife are of waking up before a roaring log fire, in
the presence of His Satanic Majesty himself, and being welcomed home like a
long lost son. It was He who invited me into his inner circle, and appointed me
to what was to become my true vocation. I haven’t looked back since.
Describe your
appearance in 10 words or less.
Your worst nightmare, attired in
kick-ass, gothic ensemble.
Where do you live in Hell? Tell us about your residence and area.
My suite is situated at the top of
Black Tower, in what humans would call, the Tower of London, smack-bang in the
middle of Olde London Town itself. For those who don’t know, that’s in the
Juxtapose level of Hell. I’ve lived there since I can remember. My Hell Hounds,
(fellow bounty hunters) and the Inquisitors, (Satan’s Special Interrogators),
have their own apartments there as well, so we can be close to our base of
operations.
The entire complex and grounds is known throughout
the many layers of the Underworld as the Den
of Iniquity, but my team and I just refer to it as The Den.
Juxtapose is a great place to live, as its environs
constantly blend into other epochs and levels of Hell. You can be walking along
a busy, traffic-clogged street one minute, and find yourself having to jump out
of the way of a horse-drawn carriage as it clatters along cobbled Victorian
roads the next. It’s confusing when you first arrive, but once you get used to
it, well…I wouldn’t want to stay anywhere else.
Do you have a
moral code?
Yes, I have a moral code, I never lie.
I know that might sound weird, coming from a denizen of Hell, but I’m keenly
aware of how my role reflects on Satan’s integrity. So, I always ensure to act
in a way that can never be criticized. And when it comes down to it, I’ve found
displaying such a trait really strikes
fear into the hearts of my prey. Once I’ve been set on you, there’s no escape.
I can’t be bribed, fooled, or conned. I don’t feel sorrow or remorse. If you
appear on my list, you’re dead. You might as well turn yourself in at the
Undertakers and save yourself a lot of bother. Annoy me and make me work for it
– and I’ll let my Inquisitors cut you up and feed the choicest parts back, bit
by juicy bit, before they let you pass on.
Do you get any
time for enjoyment, apart from your job that is?
Sure. I think it’s important to get
away from relentless blood-letting now and again. It keeps my mind sharp. So, I
like to sex things up with those few who have the stamina and fortitude to stay
alive at my touch, and I listen to music a lot. Because of my antiquity, I have
tastes that range from classical to modern. My preferred classical pieces are
Camille Saint-Saëns, Danse Macabre and The Isle of the Dead by Rachmaminov. But
I also listen to Bauhaus, Sisters of Mercy, Evanescence, Nightwish and Clan of
Xymox.
Any particular
favorites?
It depends on my mood. Although I’m
always in the mood for Mojca Zugna and Floor Jansen. Or were you asking about
the music?
Do you have
any phobias? Are you plagued by anything particular in Hell?
Other than the dread of not being able
to track down and capture a fugitive from injustice, I don’t have any phobias.
But I must admit, when I’ve been away from the Bâlefire for too long, I get
plagued by the strangest dreams of falling stars, burning skies, and gaping
pits of dense darkness from which nothing can escape. If only I could
understand what they all mean, I think I’d be that bit closer to understanding
my origins.
What do
you think Satan’s most creative punishment is here?
Ha! Without a doubt, the twisted idea of giving the
masses what they crave, so long as it’s perverted in some way. For example,
there’s nothing quite like witnessing the suffering of some poor fool who
happens to be the world’s most accomplished pianist, only to watch him
literally crash and burn before an audience. And there’s so many ways to
torment them! I’ve watched several souls begin to play, only to forget how to
read music midway through their recital. In other cases, their finger bones
might break during the chorus, or they’ll be driven mad by the notes they hear.
I’ve even heard of one idiot who was determined to create a new opus magnum,
despite the fact Satan had blighted their hearing, and cursed them with a form
of tonal dyslexia. It was hilarious listening to the beginning of an absolute
masterpiece, only to watch the performance disintegrate into utter farce by the
close of the first movement, because what they’d written ended up sounding like
total gibberish.
Brilliant!
You can probably appreciate why I love it here so
much.
Who are
your friends here?
Because of the sheer volume of souls I’m sent to
reap, I keep my circle of friends small, and limit them to just the Hell Hounds
and the Inquisitors.
For those who don’t know them, the Hell Hounds are as follows:
Nimrod, King
of Shinar, and my lead Hound. A mighty hunter in opposition to God. Then
there’s Yamato Takeru, otherwise known as Prince Ōsu. Yamato is a legendary
ninja killer from first century Japan, who brutally murdered everyone who ever
stood in his way. My final hunter is a guy called Champ Ferguson, a notorious
Confederate guerilla fighter and butcher from the American Civil War.
Then we come
to the Inquisitors.
First of
all, I have to mention the person who keeps me sane. Strawberry Fields, aka Red Riding Hood. She’s a siren of death
who will happily eat your liver as she showers you with kisses.
Then there’s
Leonard Skeffington, a previous Lieutenant of the Tower of London itself. We
affectionately refer to him by the pseudonym, Crusher, as he invented several remarkable torture devices in life
that we still use today.
Baron Ferenc
Nádasdy, a sixteenth century Hungarian nobleman, and his wife, Elizabeth
Báthory come next. While relationships are usually frowned upon in the
Underworld, His Satanic Majesty has made an exception for these two.
Ferenc goes
by the codename, Red Baron, a
tongue-in-cheek reference to the foes he has vanquished in battle. For a
denizen of Hell, he’s an honorable man, who prefers to give prisoners a chance
to spill the beans before he spills their guts. History refers to his wife as,
‘the Blood Countess’, but we know her as, Nutcracker
Sweet, because of her fetish for crushing certain parts of male prisoners
anatomy.
Finally,
there’s Myra Belle Star, aka, Black
Velvet. An infamous outlaw from the end of the nineteenth century, Myra is
a crack shot, who has adapted to the position of Inquisitor rather well.
Who are
your enemies?
Everyone who has ever been condemned to Hell, for
I’ve reaped their souls a thousand times, and will continue to do so until
creation falls.
You
mentioned relationships are frowned upon? Does that make life difficult?
Not really. I am one of the few denizens who is
allowed the freedom of expressing my desires in any way I wish. Of course, my
Dark Father has seen fit to capitalize on this golden opportunity in a typically sadistic way. Remember, anyone I
touch – skin to skin – dies instantly. A bit of a bummer during those intimate
moments, unless that person also happens to have special dispensation.
Ah, you’ve gotta love His sense of humor...(Bastard!)
What do
you think about your author?
I’ve followed his life closely ever since he
faced-down a poltergeist in one of the homes he’d grown up in. (One of ours, in
fact, a Dread-Lock). Despite the fact he was only three, he would not back down
and kept testing the wraith to see what it would or wouldn’t do. Even the
nightmares we triggered backfired. In the end, the sneaky bugger seemed able to
recognize he was sleeping and gained control over his dreams. We saw potential,
and steered him along a certain lifecourse after that. Talk about
fruitful...especially his military life. But that’s another story. (You get a
clue from his team nickname – Red)...and
it has nothing to do with the color of his hair)
Please give us
an interesting and unusual fact about yourself.
Despite the fact I’m out and out evil,
I have to recharge my essence on a regular basis in one of the most powerful satanic
power sources in existence, the Bâlefire. Without its arcane puissance, I would
lose my augmented strength and become like anyone else. Weak and pathetic.
Apart from that? I’m really light on my feet, and just so happen to be a pretty
good dancer. I’d be fantastic, if I
could just get a partner who managed to stay alive long enough. (Where’s Amy
Lee when you need her?)
Oh, and I’ve also been told I’ve got
“Come-to-bed” eyes. So long as that means your deathbed, fine.
Which books do you appear in?
I was introduced in a short story...Grim, in the “Doctors in Hell” anthology
from Janet Morris’ Heroes in Hell universe.
I had to keep it tame there. Now I’ve
been granted my own adventure, expect things to get brutal, bloody and
downright wicked.
This is the link to Hell Bound:
